Proverbs 12:18

Some people make cutting remarks, but the wise bring healing.

A little remark here. A little comment there. Throw in a few body blows of “I was only teasing” and pretty soon, your opponent…or friend…or spouse…or child…will hit the mat. Congratulations, Champ – you landed a knockout punch! How sad.

Sometimes we choose to say things that “cut” people on purpose, while other times our hurtful words will “slip” out of our mouths. Either way, we end up hurting someone. Have you ever said, “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to say that!”? Me, too. The sad reality is, we actually do mean everything we say…that is, if you choose to believe the Scripture that tells us, “…out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks” (Lk. 6:45). Ouch. It seems that Jeremiah was right – the heart really is deceptive and wicked (Jer. 17:9).

Let’s set aside the fact that virtually all of us say hurtful things…cutting things…and switch our focus to what we do with our words if we want to be wise: we bring healing. Pastor Richard Blackaby asks a great clarifying question on this one: “Are your words building others up, or tearing them down?” This is a great litmus test for us to use before we open our mouths…or keep them shut.

Thankfully, most of the words we exchange with each other only bear factual content – details of the day, answering important questions, disseminating needed information, etc. But when we are about to utter words of a more personal nature…words that might end up cutting the person we are talking to…we have to STOP and ask the aforementioned question: Am I trying to build this person up, or tear them down? If your motivation is wrong, the door to your mouth needs to remain closed. But if your motivation is to help or heal them, then speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15)…but don’t forget the sobering reality of Jeremiah’s warning: Your heart really can be deceptive and wicked.