Proverbs 21:9 (NLT)
It’s better to live alone in the corner of an attic than with a quarrelsome wife in a lovely home.
I feel like I’m about to cross a field of landmines. Its relatively easy for me to write a tough message that hits men between the eyes…as well as a message that hits all Christians between the eyes, but especially myself. But when it comes time to write a message directed almost entirely at women? My comfort level goes out the door…fear and trembling come in.
First of all, every man with a quarrelsome wife…a wife that argues A LOT…a wife that pushes back on most things and has a nasty demeanor…that man needs to spend an adequate amount of time in the mirror and on his knees to make sure he owns his part of the problem, confesses it, and repents of it. As to the woman this passage speaks about…she really doesn’t have any convenient excuses. Her behavior and general lack of respect for her husband can’t be washed away by his sin as her sin is the tsunami that is wiping out the village. Rather than being a woman with a quiet and gentle spirit (1 Pet. 3:4), she is filled with anger, resentment, bitterness, and even hatred and is ready at a moment’s notice to voice her continual dissent.
No wonder her husband would be better off living in the attic – he is hurting so much that any indignity or discomfort would be an improvement.
Wives…God desires you to be your husband’s helper! This is the same term that is used to describe one of the roles of the Holy Spirit (although it is NOT your job to convict your husband of his sin). You are called to come alongside him and cheer him on whenever possible. You should be his biggest fan…even if he isn’t scoring a touchdown on every play. I hear the compliments of a lot of people about my radio show, but it is my wife’s opinion and encouragement that matters the most…by a WIDE margin.
Wives…if you would praise and encourage your husband when he does something good or right or noble, you might be surprised at what begins to happen. He might pack up his stuff from the attic he has chosen (or the golf course or the sports programs or the hunting trips or the extra hours at work) and emotionally and spiritually move back into your lovely home. Your sweet and gentle spirit will yield far more from your man that being contentious and filled with strife.